


The Game Eds

by MrDusk



Category: Ed Edd n Eddy
Genre: Video & Computer Games
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-08
Updated: 2016-04-08
Packaged: 2018-05-31 16:38:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,327
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6477844
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MrDusk/pseuds/MrDusk
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eddy figures he can make money with gameplay videos on the internet, so he and Ed start making Let's Play videos.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Game Eds

The camera turns on, and shows Eddy positioning the camera to show him and Ed.

Eddy: What's up internet?  Ed and I are here to play games and get money.

Ed: Hello!

Eddy: I know, you're all wondering where Double D is, well...

Ed: He thinks video games rot your brain, and would rather spend time hanging out with Kevin than us these days.

Eddy: Yeah, that's why Double D isn't with us.  Because he's a bitch.

Ed: First game is Vampire The Masquerade: Bloodlines! 

Eddy: A game we totally didn't choose because the cover is sexy.

Ed: Do you wanna play Eddy?

Eddy: I would, but the only games I play are either Pac-Man or that one where you kill hookers.

Ed: You can kill hookers in this game Eddy!

Eddy: Really?  Hmm ... maybe later.

Eddy: So here's the game.  It's got some sort of artsy junk going on with it.

Ed: It's kinda Egyptian in a way, which is actually a bit of foreshadowing because-

Eddy: Nobody cares Ed, just get to the game. 

Ed: Okay so we can take a test to see what kind of vampire we-

Eddy: Screw personality tests.  Just skip to the game.

Ed: But we need to make a character Eddy.

Eddy: Is this gonna take long?

Ed: Nope!

Eddy: What the hell is that thing?

Ed: That's a Malkavian, they're fun to play as.

Eddy: He looks like a junkie, play as something else.

Ed: Okay.  Should I play as me or you?

Eddy: You know what?  Since Double D isn't here, let's play as him.  Is there like, a nerd vampire?

Ed: Yeah, the Tremere.

Eddy: Perfect, it looks just like him!

Eddy: Well, except for the hat.

Ed: I don't think the Tremeres can get hats either.  Okay, next is to put in the stats.

Eddy: You done yet?

Ed: Yup!  He's not so good with fighting, but Tremeres have powerful magic so it balances out.

Eddy: Good, let's start the game already.

Eddy: What the hell?  Is Double D having sex?

Ed: Well uh...

Eddy: Goddamnit even in video games he gets more action than us!

Ed: This happens with every character Eddy.

Eddy: Kinky handcuffs?

Ed: Yup.

Eddy: This game is starting out great.

Eddy: Is that an eyebrow piercing?

Ed: Wow, never noticed that.

Eddy: That's just asking for trouble.

Ed: Hahaha!

Eddy: You know, we might as well play as Double D.  The fandom seems to love him being a vampire or werewolf or something like that.

Ed: I don't like them very much.  They waste the premise on stupid romance plots.

Eddy: Yeah, like that one where the two of you were werewolves and he somehow became a vampire because he's a Mary Sue.

Ed: Oh don't get me started on that bullshit comic.  Having a werewolf/vampire hybrid is just plain stupid.

Eddy: Oh shit!

Ed: Yup.

Eddy: Did we just lose?

Ed: Nope.

Ed: We're fine.

Eddy: Damn, thought this was a short game.

Ed: It lasts about twenty or more hours.

Eddy: Shit, really?

Ed: It's a long game!

Eddy: Is that a hooker?

Ed: No, but she owns a strip club.

Eddy: So is this the whole game?

Ed: It's just the opening cutscene Eddy.

Eddy: Well skip it, it's taking too long! I don't want to hear this Jimmy-looking motherfucker talk.

Ed: That's LaCroix, he's the Prince of Los Angeles in this game.

Eddy: When the hell does LA have a prince?

Ed: That's what they call the leader of the vampires in the Camarilla, he's basically the Don of LA.

Eddy: Screw him! Let's kill him and become the don!

Ed: Uh ... it doesn't work like that Eddy, see the prince is-

Eddy: Wait shut up, that weird looking guy has a huge-

Eddy: He just killed that chick!

Ed: Oh yeah. That's part of the story.

Eddy: Why the hell did he do that?

Ed: Okay so, what she did was sire us.  That means she made us a vampire but she shouldn't have.

Eddy: Why?  Did she have to wait to get married?

Ed: No, she just needed the elder's permission.

Eddy: Damn, I know Jehovah's Witnesses have it bad, but this is insane.

Eddy: Who the fuck is that?

Ed: That's Nines, he just saved us.

Eddy: ...why?

Ed: He hates LaCroix.

Eddy: Who doesn't in this game?

Ed: Well, his bodyguard seems to like him.  Though LaCroix pretty much owns him so...

Eddy: Ed this isn't gonna get us any viewers, it's just a longass movie.

Ed: It's almost done Eddy.

Eddy: What the hell is he talking about?

Ed: Nothing really, just that he's important.

Eddy: Santa Monica?

Ed: That's where we're heading first.

Eddy: Fuckin' finally...

Eddy: Who the fuck?

Ed: It's Jack the homicidal maniac!

Ed: Well not really, but he's a cool guy.  He's giving us the tutorial here.

Eddy: Do we have to do it?

Ed: No, but we get experience, a lockpick, and a few weapons out of it.

Eddy: Just skip it Ed.

Ed: Okay!

 

Ed: So this is our apartment.

Eddy: It looks like crap.

Ed: Yeah well, LaCroix is a cheapass.  Anyway we gotta look around.

Ed: We've been summoned!

Eddy: For what?

Ed: This is from Strauss, he wants us to join him for tea.

Eddy: Forget him.

Ed: This is our laptop!

Eddy: Oh shoot, this looks worse than Windows 8.

Ed: It's kinda more like DOS, every computer in the game is like this.

Eddy: Okay so, email?

Ed: LaCroix says we should be contacted by Mercurio.  It's probably in the next email.

Eddy: Heh, here's something Edd could use.

Eddy: Frickin' spam.

Ed: Okay here it is.

Eddy: Explosives?

Ed: Yeah, we're gonna blow up a warehouse.

Eddy: I thought we were playing as a vampire?

Ed: We are.  We're playing as a vampire who is going to blow up a warehouse.

Eddy: You know this is why I don't play games, they're too weird.

Ed: There's one email left!

Eddy: What's this supposed to mean?

Ed: Nobody really knows.  It's a mystery for sure.

Eddy: Let's get out of here.

Ed: But wait Eddy, there's more!

Ed: We got a TV...

Ed: A radio...

Ed: Free blood packs...

Ed: And look!  We can break into our neighbor's apartment next door!

Eddy: Ed, does anything ever happen in this game?

Ed: Yeah, it just takes a while!

Eddy: Well hurry up!

Ed: Okay.  Let's at least grab this newspaper on our way out.

Eddy: Whoa, that guy got fucked up.

Ed: Yeah, we'll look into this later, for now let's go see Mercurio.

Eddy: Don't give him any money Ed!

Ed: Okay.  We can also suck this guy's blood.

Eddy: Gross.

Eddy: Don't vampires worry about, like, AIDS or HIV?

Ed: I don't think it'd hurt them much.  Vampires are already dead.

Eddy: I guess, but won't that at least taste bad?

Ed: Well we get less blood from hobos and hookers, so I guess they're taking that into consideration.

Eddy: Oh great, more cutscenes.

Ed: This is a shorter one.

 

Eddy: So is that guy important or something?

Ed: That's Mercurio, we need to get the explosives from him.

Eddy: Who's this tool?

Ed: Some guy we can rob if we had enough intimidation or persuasion, but we don't.

Eddy: Waste of time then.

Ed: There's another character we gotta meet.

Eddy: Really?

Eddy: Ed what are you doing in this game?

Ed: I wish I knew Eddy.

Eddy: Ed, can we kill this hooker?

Ed: Yeah, but we'd lose humanity.  We also need fifty bucks.

Eddy: Eh, might not be worth it.

Ed: And this is where we need to go!

Eddy: Right, okay.  I think that's enough for one episode.

Ed: Really?

Eddy: Yeah, it's not like anyone's gonna watch this anyway.  Mainly because Double D isn't here.

Ed: Well okay, thanks for watching everybody!


End file.
